Of love and marriage...

I had the absolute joy of watching two of my dearest friends join in marriage this past weekend. It was a touching ceremony, full of love and tears and great emotion, joining two remarkable people and two wonderful families. You couldn't imagine two people more in love and it showed! I am honored that my little family was able to share in their special day! I smiled, thinking of their future and reflecting on my past.

Almost 15 years ago, I took vows very similar to those they took. I don't remember being quite as emotional, I think I was just too young to REALLY appreciate the significance of those vows and the promise I made to love this man forever. I loved him of course, but it was still that silly 23 year-old, infatuated love. Love that hated to be apart for a moment, love that had to know where he was always, love that longed for that glance from across the room, love that burned. And that is a wonderful kind of love, the way every true love should start, but then, if you're lucky, it grows into something so much more. A love of comfort, a love of friendship and respect, a love that aches in your heart when you see your husband comfort his crying son or scoop up his elated baby girl after a long day at work, a love that feels safe and secure, a love that is HOME. This is the kind of love I hope for my friends, for this is the love that lasts forever!

So, while I'm sitting here, reminiscing over my past and looking forward to a bright future for my friends, I get a news pop-up stating that the California Supreme Court has upheld the ban on same-sex marriage. Sadly, I'm not surprised, but I am disappointed. I am grateful that they saw fit to allow the 18,000 couples that lawfully married before the prop was passed to stay married, BUT... it is still a sad day for the state of California and for the many, many gays and lesbians and the people that love them across the country. Love cannot be mandated, you love who you love and so long as that love exists between two consenting adults, it should not matter whether they are straight, gay, transgendered or whatever! Why is it that I am allowed to marry the person I love, but my mother is not? Would the sanctity of MY marriage be compromised if she did marry her girlfriend? No, in fact, I think I would feel more secure in my marriage knowing that it was a right afforded to ALL Americans regardless of sexual orientation. I'm so tired of all this "holier than thou" shit I could die. This country saw fit to adopt a principle that separated church from state, so put your money where your mouth is. Same-sex marriage is questionable based on a religious ideology. Well if we've separated church from state, why are we even having this discussion?

I am trying to keep positive. I am hoping that in the near future our government will see that marriage is a contract between two adults, regardless of sex. I am hoping that soon my mother and many of my friends will be allowed the same rights that I enjoy sheerly because of my heterosexuality. I want my mother and my friends to feel the same joy and connection as I did 15 years ago and as my friends did 2 nights ago. I want this country to get its head out of its ass and realize that FAMILY has many faces, and HOME is different and special for everyone! Now is the time for equal marriage rights.