And then she was 39

Today starts the last year of my thirties! 39 people! It's a BIG number! Not quite as big as 40 but we all know that one's just around the corner waiting to bite me in the ass! It's kind of surreal, really, knowing that I'm a year away from 40. Where in the hell did time go?!? I could swear it was just yesterday that was running around with huge hair, draggin' Main in a '71 Buick LeSabre with all my girlfriends blaring Motley Crue as loudly as we could and tormenting teenage boys!

Truth be told... I still have huge hair! And I still blare Motley Crue but now I headbang with my kids instead of my girlfriends! I rarely taunt boys anymore though, it's usually uptight Texans in gas-guzzling SUV's and Dodge Ram super-cabs! Hmmmm, maybe things haven't changed as much as I thought! ;)

I do have to say, my 30's have been my favorite decade. The teenage years were fun, but also full of angst and uncertainty and growing up in a small town where individuality was a death sentence. For some people those 3 or 4 years in high school were the glory days, but not for me. Relive the teenage years? No thanks, I'll pass.

My twenties were definitely a step up. I fell in love, FOR REAL, and I married him!
I got a good college education. I moved to the Pacific Northwest (which is where I found my soul).
I became a first-time homeowner.
I guess I finally became an adult. Some people might think that would be a downer, but it wasn't. It was good! I finally felt I was coming into my own and learning to how to live in my own skin. I dug my twenties, they were alright! But then came the big 3-0 and EVERYTHING CHANGED.

Five months after my 30th birthday I unexpectedly discovered I was pregnant with my son. Talk about a fine howdy-do! Big Daddy was pretty calm about the situation, I on the other hand, freaked the hell out! I didn't even LIKE kids. How can you have a kid when you don't like them? Seriously, my motto for years was, "Kids, I hate 'em, they stink!" But then again, how was I to know that the moment I laid eyes on him my heart would know a completely different level of love, something I could have never imagined.
As I have stated before, the one thing I thought I never wanted turned out to be the best thing I ever did. It's like those tiny, little fingers unlocked a portion of my heart and my soul that I had never known
and I flourished because of it. Once he arrived I embraced motherhood whole-heartedly. As if parenthood itself wasn't life-changing enough, I left my job and became a stay-at-home mama, a move that I think shocked my friends and family beyond belief. It was a hard decision, but it felt right. Sadly though, with my new stay-at-home-mama status came a sense of loneliness and isolation. My friends didn't have kids and my family was thousands of miles away. In the long run, this led to another life-changing decision, the decision to pack our bags with an infant in tow and move to Texas! So within a year and a half of turning 30, I got pregnant, had a baby, left my job, and moved to Texas. No one can accuse me of ever doing anything little!

Most people might think that moving from Oregon to Texas would have been stifling. I mean lets face it, I'm a tree-hugging, recycling, gay-marriage supporting, agnostic, hippy... what the hell was I thinking moving to the land of big truck driving, gun-toting, rednecks? Well, as with many things in my life, I discovered you can't pre-judge a situation. After all, I wasn't fond of kids, but one little boy changed my attitude really damn quick. The same thing happened in Texas. Much to my surprise, I found an amazing group of friends and a support system that I had never experienced. People who like me for who I am and who support my choices even if they wouldn't have made them. Sometimes you have to just kick back, relax, enjoy the ride and open your mind to the possibilities. Although I found my soul in Oregon, I found "ME" in Texas. I also found the love of my life for a third time!

And I finally, FINALLY learned that it was cool to be me. In my youth, like most, I dreamed of being rich and famous, but I hit 36 and it dawned on me (I know, sometimes I'm slow to catch on), "Crap, looks like this rich and famous shit just ain't gonna happen!" At first it stung a bit, then I realized, what the hell? It is what it is. I am who I am. I am a homeschooling mother of two little kids that I adore beyond belief! I have a husband that I love and that loves me back. I have a nice, little house in the burbs with a happy little victory garden in the back. I am an amateur photographer that needs to get over my chickenshit self and go pro. I'm an outdoor enthusiast, an artist, a blogger, a dork, an ink fanatic, a helluva cook, a dog lover, a loyal friend and all in all, a pretty damn nice person (although I'm told I'm a bit loud and obnoxious on occasion)! I'm not rich, I'm far from famous, I'm not a rockstar, but I am ME. I'm cool with myself, wrinkles, cellulite, saggy boobs and all! I truly love my life and that's so freakin' cool! And for this realization alone I will always cherish my thirties. So here's to 39,
let this year be a great end to a great decade and let my transition into my 40's be smooth. After all, if my thirties were this good, my forties should be a blast!