PSA: The Great Slime Fiasco of 2011

For those of you that don't know, my daughter is THAT kid.  

I decided after this particular incident that I should post about it, because after all, one of you might have one of these kids as well!

OK, first off, what do you get when you mix this...

with this?

ONE BIG FREAKIN' NIGHTMARE!

"Look Mommy!  I have a hat made of slime!"  Oh joy!  In case you're wondering what slime is, it is a mixture made of water, borax and GLUE.  And does it easily come out of soft, fine, little girl hair?  NO.  No it does not.  I have to say, I felt so sorry for her.  My first reaction was, of course, to be angry, then all of a sudden this rush of giggling came over me and I howled like a damn hyena with tears streaming down my face.

This was not helpful.

It was also not helpful that her big brother was laughing himself into tears as well.  So I had to chase the child around the house (with slime drooping from her head) to try and explain that it wasn't HER I was laughing at but the SITUATION.  Needless to say, she did NOT think this shit was funny in the least.

First instinct, call mother-in-law.  She used to be a hairdresser, she HAD to know how to remove slime.  She suggested putting on tons of thick conditioner to hopefully help the goop slide out.  Made perfect sense so we tried it.

I was able to start slowing scratching some of the top layer off, but the stuff underneath was so stuck in the hair it was unbelievable and the conditioner wasn't even touching that.  At this point I was almost certain that a shaver and a buzz cut were in the child's future.  I called Big Daddy to get him surfing the web to see if he could find a solution.  He is the King of Google.  Seriously, that man can find anything, anytime on Google!  I hopped back in the shower with the girl to try to work some more of this stuff out.  Shortly, the Monkey Man came upstairs with news.  So what did Big Daddy discover on the internet?

That's right, Baby!  MAYONNAISE!  Turns out vinegar can break up some the bonds of the glue, but I was too scared I'd get it in her eyes.  Mayo has vinegar and oil, double whammy!  And although it's gross, it's manageable.  So I slopped it on and started working it in.  I was able to start pulling big chunks out after a few minutes, then I started in with the fine tooth comb.  Slowly but surely, the slime started loosening up and I was able to comb the majority of it out.  Then I shampooed a couple of times and conditioned really well and this was the end result...

Slime FREE!!!!  I don't think I've ever loved a condiment so much in my entire life!  GO MAYO!  So remember, if you have one of THOSE kids and they get slime in their hair, it's all about the mayonnaise!