Kid Shit

Fact:  Kids accumulate shit.  LOTS AND LOTS of shit.  This shit, at one point or another, seeps out of the designated "kid shit" areas and receptacles and somehow completely and utterly takes over your entire house.  Those of you that have kids know all too well what I'm talking about.  For those that don't have kids or those that soon will, here is a little rhyme just for you!

Kid shit on the desk.

 Kid shit on the chair.

Kid shit on the sofa.

And kid shit on the stair!

 

Kid shit in the downstairs bath.

Kid shit in the hall.

 

  Kid shit in the master bath, the most sacred room of all.

Kid shit in MY CLOSET.

Kid shit on the lawn.

Kid shit in the dining room.

All day long!

There is no room for our stuff.
Ain't no way that it can fit.
I'll need a bigger house
To store all this freakin' shit!

-Little Mama

Valentine Scrooge

Most of you that have followed along for awhile are probably aware that I am not at all a fan of Valentine's Day. I seem to remember years ago when Big Daddy and I were first dating that we went out for our "special" Valentine's Dinner at the Olive Garden (of all places!). The wait was atrocious even though we had reservations and the outpouring of public affection was bordering on the obscene. From that night on, it became blatantly obvious that this was NOT the holiday for me! Don't get me wrong, the sentiment is nice enough. I appreciate the need to express your love to your significant other, but isn't that something you should do everyday? I personally think July 21st is just as relevant as February 14th when it comes to professing my deep and undying love. Or maybe even April 6th? Any day is a good day to say, "I love you!" And I don't know, maybe I just don't like being told what to do. I'm sorry but I just refuse to let Wal-Mart, Target, Zales and Hallmark dictate how and when I should feel amorous. And really, I need a teddy bear with a heart shaped balloon like I need a giant pimple on my ass. So I admit it... I'm the Valentine Scrooge! You can keep your hearts and cherubs and cupids and diamond necklaces... it's just not my bag. I'm a pretty simple girl, so Big Daddy knows that as long as I have a steady supply of chocolate stashed in the pantry year-round and he tells me he loves me every morning before he goes to work and he occupies the kids long enough for me to have a hot bath with a good book on occasion that I will be happy and know that I'm loved. For me, those simple everyday actions mean more to me than any card or gift could possibly convey. I know there are probably many of you out there that enjoy Valentine's Day immensely and I certainly don't begrudge you for that. Just be aware that on February 14th while you're out smooching, canoodling and exchanging trinkets, I'll be home, grilling salmon and celebrating Oregon's entry into the union (finally something worth celebrating!!!)

And then she was 39

Today starts the last year of my thirties! 39 people! It's a BIG number! Not quite as big as 40 but we all know that one's just around the corner waiting to bite me in the ass! It's kind of surreal, really, knowing that I'm a year away from 40. Where in the hell did time go?!? I could swear it was just yesterday that was running around with huge hair, draggin' Main in a '71 Buick LeSabre with all my girlfriends blaring Motley Crue as loudly as we could and tormenting teenage boys!

Truth be told... I still have huge hair! And I still blare Motley Crue but now I headbang with my kids instead of my girlfriends! I rarely taunt boys anymore though, it's usually uptight Texans in gas-guzzling SUV's and Dodge Ram super-cabs! Hmmmm, maybe things haven't changed as much as I thought! ;)

I do have to say, my 30's have been my favorite decade. The teenage years were fun, but also full of angst and uncertainty and growing up in a small town where individuality was a death sentence. For some people those 3 or 4 years in high school were the glory days, but not for me. Relive the teenage years? No thanks, I'll pass.

My twenties were definitely a step up. I fell in love, FOR REAL, and I married him!
I got a good college education. I moved to the Pacific Northwest (which is where I found my soul).
I became a first-time homeowner.
I guess I finally became an adult. Some people might think that would be a downer, but it wasn't. It was good! I finally felt I was coming into my own and learning to how to live in my own skin. I dug my twenties, they were alright! But then came the big 3-0 and EVERYTHING CHANGED.

Five months after my 30th birthday I unexpectedly discovered I was pregnant with my son. Talk about a fine howdy-do! Big Daddy was pretty calm about the situation, I on the other hand, freaked the hell out! I didn't even LIKE kids. How can you have a kid when you don't like them? Seriously, my motto for years was, "Kids, I hate 'em, they stink!" But then again, how was I to know that the moment I laid eyes on him my heart would know a completely different level of love, something I could have never imagined.
As I have stated before, the one thing I thought I never wanted turned out to be the best thing I ever did. It's like those tiny, little fingers unlocked a portion of my heart and my soul that I had never known
and I flourished because of it. Once he arrived I embraced motherhood whole-heartedly. As if parenthood itself wasn't life-changing enough, I left my job and became a stay-at-home mama, a move that I think shocked my friends and family beyond belief. It was a hard decision, but it felt right. Sadly though, with my new stay-at-home-mama status came a sense of loneliness and isolation. My friends didn't have kids and my family was thousands of miles away. In the long run, this led to another life-changing decision, the decision to pack our bags with an infant in tow and move to Texas! So within a year and a half of turning 30, I got pregnant, had a baby, left my job, and moved to Texas. No one can accuse me of ever doing anything little!

Most people might think that moving from Oregon to Texas would have been stifling. I mean lets face it, I'm a tree-hugging, recycling, gay-marriage supporting, agnostic, hippy... what the hell was I thinking moving to the land of big truck driving, gun-toting, rednecks? Well, as with many things in my life, I discovered you can't pre-judge a situation. After all, I wasn't fond of kids, but one little boy changed my attitude really damn quick. The same thing happened in Texas. Much to my surprise, I found an amazing group of friends and a support system that I had never experienced. People who like me for who I am and who support my choices even if they wouldn't have made them. Sometimes you have to just kick back, relax, enjoy the ride and open your mind to the possibilities. Although I found my soul in Oregon, I found "ME" in Texas. I also found the love of my life for a third time!

And I finally, FINALLY learned that it was cool to be me. In my youth, like most, I dreamed of being rich and famous, but I hit 36 and it dawned on me (I know, sometimes I'm slow to catch on), "Crap, looks like this rich and famous shit just ain't gonna happen!" At first it stung a bit, then I realized, what the hell? It is what it is. I am who I am. I am a homeschooling mother of two little kids that I adore beyond belief! I have a husband that I love and that loves me back. I have a nice, little house in the burbs with a happy little victory garden in the back. I am an amateur photographer that needs to get over my chickenshit self and go pro. I'm an outdoor enthusiast, an artist, a blogger, a dork, an ink fanatic, a helluva cook, a dog lover, a loyal friend and all in all, a pretty damn nice person (although I'm told I'm a bit loud and obnoxious on occasion)! I'm not rich, I'm far from famous, I'm not a rockstar, but I am ME. I'm cool with myself, wrinkles, cellulite, saggy boobs and all! I truly love my life and that's so freakin' cool! And for this realization alone I will always cherish my thirties. So here's to 39,
let this year be a great end to a great decade and let my transition into my 40's be smooth. After all, if my thirties were this good, my forties should be a blast!

2010... Bring it on!

It's a new year and I find myself reminiscing about 2009 and wondering where the hell time went! It was a jam-packed year and I feel like I hardly had time to sit down and breathe. And although 2009 was a rough year for many people, I honestly can't complain. Of course we have been a bit strapped financially, but who hasn't? We adjusted. And of course there were loads of things I meant to do but never did (Hello, baseboards?? Someday.)

So... what DID I get done in 2009?

1. I once again managed to get two children another year closer to adulthood without thinking of sending them to boarding school even once! (OK, maybe just once.)
2. I continued homeschooling my children and I LOVED it! I was worried after the first year or so that I might not be so gung-ho about it anymore, but the longer we homeschool the more I am sure that this is absolutely the best situation for our family and I couldn't be happier!
3. I TRAVELED! I didn't go anyplace exotic or tropical but I did travel and it was GREAT! We camped, we enjoyed our cabin in Ruidoso and we discovered new and wonderful places in New Mexico and Texas. I'm sure going to Hawaii or Italy would have been cool, but honestly, there is so much to see and do locally, why not take advantage of that (especially if you're on a tight budget!)? Besides, traveling to me is more about who I'm with than where I'm at. I just adore being with my family and it doesn't make a damn bit of difference if we are in Fiji or Ruidoso as long as we're together! (Fiji would be freakin' cool though!)
4. I added on to my garden and continued growing food! I grew luscious lettuce and broccoli in the winter and had a bumper crop of black-eyed peas and okra this past summer. There was an unfortunate mishap with the tomatoes, but that gave way to the most awesome crop of basil Central Texas has ever seen in a single backyard! I then planted my winter garden of lettuce, greens, beets, turnips, onions and garlic which I am tending to at this time. I still love it and I can't imagine life without a garden, now if I could just figure out how to rotate crops in a way that I have a constant yield! Oh well, something to strive for!
5. We worked very hard this year to become less dependent on processed foods. I have not bought a loaf of bread in over a year and I haven't bought flour tortillas in months. I make my own spaghetti and pizza sauces not to mention my own rice pilafs and soups. I think my family is happier and healthier for this change. Now if I could just break my Coke habit!
6. I boycotted most store-bought cleaners. I have done my research and feel confident that most messes can be conquered with nothing more than vinegar, baking soda, lemons, dish soap, borax or hydrogen peroxide. So much easier on the environment AND the pocket book! Win-Win!
7. I took time for myself and went to Las Vegas with Big Daddy! Vegas was certainly not my choice of destinations, but how do you turn down a free trip? And like I mentioned before, it makes no difference where I'm at as long as I'm with the one I love! So we went, we took pics, we saw Carlos Santana AND Elvis and we just hung out, enjoying time together! It rocked.
8. I celebrated 15 years of marriage! We threw a big party with all of our family and friends and got re-married by none other than "Nelvis"! I can't tell you how awesome it is to have friends that will indulge your crazy eccentricities!
9. I took pictures like crazy! I see a portfolio in my near future!

But with all the good in 2009, there was one major downer. After 4-1/2 years with us, our beloved dog Otis passed away suddenly just before the holidays. We miss him every single day. But sometimes out of sadness a seed of hope and joy sprouts. Just before Thanksgiving we adopted two little dogs from the shelter! They are wicked cute and a wicked pain in the ass, but I am thrilled that I was able to give two little hard-knock pups a second chance. They are now warm, well-fed and loved beyond belief and I think Otis would approve!

So what about 2010? Well, as I have stated in years past, I DO NOT DO RESOLUTIONS! I'm just not a big fan of setting myself up to fail, but of course I have some goals for the new year.

1. Since neither 2008 nor 2009 were "The Year of the Baseboard", I really hope I can knock this one out this year. It's really beyond pathetic that we haven't taken care of this yet. But what can I say, it always loses the coin toss. Should I put down baseboards or go to Dallas to take the Monkey Man to see King Tut? Baseboards or Balloon Fiesta? Baseboards or mountain air and cool breezes to escape the scorching Texas heat? See what I mean? Baseboards didn't have a chance!
2. Continue traveling! I am loving taking road trips with my kids! It's such a great time for them to learn and have fun at the same time and I feel fortunate that homeschooling has allowed me the flexibility to do this. We have a road trip to Kentucky in the works for late spring that I am VERY excited about!
3. Conquer corn tortillas and pita and continue to lessen my dependence on processed foods.
4. Spend more time playing!
5. Take the children to more live music and more art venues. Austin is full of these and I haven't utilized them to fullest!
6. LEARN to take advantage of the LIBRARY! It is such a valuable resource unless Mama is a complete dunce when it comes to the Dewey Decimal system! I need a freakin' lesson in library skills!
7. Spend more time with good friends!
8. Train a couple of punk-ass dogs! They are so sweet and so snuggly but they could use some manners!
9. Continue gardening
10. My biggest goal of 2010 is to acquire additional equipment, a studio, and organize a portfolio for my photography. I have been on the brink of going professional for over a year, but I've been too chicken to do it! I need to just relax, admit that I have some talent and allow myself to take that step. After all, what do I really have to lose, right? I love photography and I would love to do it professionally. So like the Nike trademark says... Just do it!

I am looking forward to 2010 with all of its potential and possibilities! I just want to take it one day at a time, trying to make sure that I live every single day to its fullest! And sometimes living that day to the fullest means getting back into bed and sleeping late snuggled up with my baby girl or playing a couple of hours of Rock Band with the hubby and the boy! It's all about living in the now and not obsessing over the future. It hit me a couple of years ago that I was so caught up in the "Once I do this..., when I do that..., when we have "X" amount of $$$" that I completely lost sight of what was happening right under my nose! The fact is, a single afternoon gardening in the backyard with the kids jumping on the trampoline while crazy dogs play in the sun is so much more fun than worrying about what life will be like "if or when". So here's to the simple pleasures of 2010, a year of silly art, hiking, bad knock-knock jokes, dress-up, camping, good books, good food, goofy dogs, family, friends, green slime, awesome music, luscious lettuce, and not regretting a thing! I hope you are able to look fondly back on 2009 and jump into 2010 with a renewed sense of passion and I hope each and every one of you will join me in making this year one to remember!

Old Faithful

I always know it's getting close to Christmas thanks to "Old Faithful". I have owned Christmas cacti before, most of them were blooming when I got them but were destined to never bloom again! This one is special. It has begun to bloom on Dec. 1st for the last 4 years now, just like clockwork! So I always feel the need to take a good photo of it, after all, I practically ignore the little thing for the rest of the year! It just sits in my window, totally non-descript, minding it's own business, then on December 1st it takes center stage! It just wouldn't be the holidays without it!

Ode to Adam Lambert

I would like to give a shout out to Adam Lambert in a special limerick I wrote just for him!

Adam Lambert, dressed in yella
Fondled dancers and kissed a fella
Parents got enraged at the AMA's
For showing little kiddies that it's hip to be GAY!

So what's up? It's OK for Britney and Madonna to snog on primetime but not poor Adam? Tsk, tsk, such a double standard in so many ways. I find it totally amusing that we don't want government intervening with anything unless it has to do with the moderation our naughty bits!

Today's observations...

Random observation: Dandelions and fire ants (especially when found together) have to be one of Mother Nature's sicker jokes!

Mama observation: Full bottles of bubble solution and 2 year-olds don't mix.